The last time.

On days like today, when my voice box has tapped out from all the yelling I did, when my thoughts are jumbled from not sleeping the night before, when my body is so tired that I can’t even find the energy to make myself dinner, I need that 10 seconds to myself. I need that quiet, hiding in the closet time with a kit kat bar, time. I need it to collect myself. To pull myself up by the shirt and remind myself how lucky I am to have kids to yell at. How lucky I am to lose sleep over a baby with a tummy ache. How lucky I am that I was so busy with three beautiful children all day that I forgot to eat dinner.

You’re allowed to be tired, you’re allowed to be angry, sad, stressed, irritated.. you’re allowed to drink a whole bottle of wine in the bath tub after you tuck those little demons in for the night.

We’re human, you’re human. So you’re also allowed to feel guilty. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to cry… you’re allowed to yell.

As long as you remember after all of that, that you’re lucky. You’re lucky to have the title of Mom, or Dad. You’re lucky to have a child, or children to wake up to in the morning, to make you laugh, to teach things to, and to hug whenever you damn well want.

Not everyone gets that blessing.

We take for granted the time we have, the opportunities we’re given.. if your baby asks you to read a book that you’ve already read 2,000 times.. because it’s her favorite, just read it again. Why? Why put yourself through that torture of wanting to ram your face through a wall? It’s simple, because at some point.. there will be a last time your baby asks you to read that book. Then you’ll miss little bunny fu fu hoping through the forest, and you’ll wish you could read it one more time.

There will come a time when you wipe the last dirty face, there will be a last time you sing to your babies, a last time they climb into bed with you, a last time they call you, “Mommy.”

It’s sad to know that you won’t know when that last time is.. so cherish all the time you do have. Let them tell you all their silly stories, because when they are 13, starting their periods and wearing a choker necklace, they are going to walk right past you like you don’t even exist. You’re going to wish you let them crawl into bed with you that stormy night that the thunder woke them up.

Before you even know it, your kids won’t be “kids” anymore. So make sure all their firsts, are memorable lasts for you. Those memories will be all you have to look back on.

Time doesn’t stand still, so catch it when you can. ❤️

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